Witness Protection
by bibi 13ca
Summary: A one shot as predictable as the title suggests I am afraid. So I won't write a summary and instead let you decide based on that whatever you would like to read the story or not. Rated T for some language.


**N: **Not one, but two people read and liked my previous Will/Alicia story. So I decided to post another one. Again, not an expert on these two so they might not be 100% in character. Also, I have skipped some episodes and stopped watching after 5.16 so I took some liberties here and there, hope you guys don't mind. Not betaed, so all the mistakes are mine and I am sorry for them.

I know the idea isn't new at all, but this is my version so…there's that. Hope you will like. Let me know whis a review.

As before, I unfortunately don't own anything related to The Good Wife and get no $$ out of it.

**Witness Protection**

Alicia woke up to the sound of her husband and Eli Gold bickering. They were worse than a married couple. She thought that the people of Illinois should know that the real couple was not her and Peter. No, the real couple was Peter and Eli. Always together, always plotting, always looking out for Peter's interests and political career. And for a second she smiled to herself. Eli Gold was making a great political wife. Offering support and managing crisis. Always there yet never in the spot light. He was there simply to reflect the light on Peter Florrick. Oh, she pitied Eli. Alicia knew all too well how it felt to be the one in the shadows. To be the one making the sacrifices. She had done just that. Sacrificing. Always sacrificing. She had put her whole life on hold for Peter and his career. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Not even a sacrifice, but something she had thought – she had convinced herself – she wanted. And it had all been for nothing. Yes, she had her wonderful children. She didn't, she couldn't regret her children. However if she had to do it all over again, she would do it a bit different.

"Peter we can't. We need to keep contact to a minimum," Eli said. Just then it occurred to Alicia that she had no idea what the two men were doing in her apartment. Peter didn't live there. Her confusion lasted for another five seconds. Then she remembered. Peter was here to pick up Grace for a father daughter day before her birthday. Grace's actual birthday won't be for another three weeks, but that was of no importance to Peter. Today was the only day he could spare. As usual, everyone had to work to accommodate Peter Florrick and his addiction to politics. Because there was no doubt, her husband was addicted to politics.

"I know Eli, but this is important. We are talking about the biggest drug dealer in New York and he trying to get in Chicago. Will Gardner is the only one who can help."

Alicia had just reached the door. Her hand froze half way towards the doorknob. Her heart suddenly started pounding in her chest so hard, so loud, she could hear it all around the room. For a second she feared Peter and Eli might have heard it too. She took a deep, steady breath as soundlessly as she could, doing her best to keep calm.

"We don't really need his testimony. Speaking of that, shouldn't he be done soon? Federico Capolli is in jail serving two consecutive life sentences isn't he?"

The tap starting running, muffling the sounds. Alicia pressed her ear to the door. "… my guess is Will's just being careful," she heard Peter as the sound of the water running stopped. "Think he will come back to Chicago? Technically Will Gardner is dead, but the marshals could give him back his identity, right? Or is it the FBI that deals with those sort of things?"

Alicia gasped. All of a sudden she found it difficult to breathe. It was as if the air couldn't get in. It couldn't reach her lungs. At first she thought she had imagined hearing Will's name. But they had said it again. And if marshals were involved and the Federal Bureau, it meant witness protection. Which meant faked deaths. Which meant… Her knees wobbled. Not trusting her legs to keep her upright, Alicia let her body slide against the wall. She sat on the floor, next to the door. Her hand pressed against her chest. Her shallow breaths shaking with emotion. Will could be alive.

She felt… relief. Then she felt joy spreading through her whole body like warm, summer wind. After joy came excitement, like a jolt of electricity in her heart and stomach. It felt overwhelming. As if she was given a second chance at life. And then it all changed. To furry. A furry she had never felt before. It settled in every single pore in her body. In the back of that fury she could also decipher hurt, disgust, ager, hatred, disappointment and about a million other emotions. She decided to concentrate on one.

Fueled by that feeling of fury, she stood up. She opened the door and made her way into the kitchen. Both Peter and Eli stopped talking as soon as they saw her. Alicia was sure they knew she overheard their earlier conversation. They were both watching her as if afraid of something. Afraid of her probably. And they had a reason to be. In that moment she felt capable of killing both of them.

She took another slow, steadying breath and thanked God Grace was still at her friend's house and won't be home for at least another hour.

"Alicia. We are sorry to intrude. Peter and I needed to discuss something urgent. He told me he was coming by to pick up Grace. I was the one who suggested we meet here," Eli said.

Alicia didn't hear a word he said. Her eyes were focused on Peter. The man she had called her husband for over twenty years. A man she had once admired, loved and trusted. A man who had put her through hell. A man who instead of loving her and protecting her, had broken her.

"Will is alive?" she asked. Her voice was soft, steady, surprising herself. To think she had been afraid to talk. Afraid that if she opened her mouth no words would come out. Either that or she would scream and curse until she was left without a voice.

Peter just looked at her. Eli was the one to speak. "Alicia look_"

"Stay out of this Eli," she said in a tone just as soft as moments ago. When her husband's campaign manager tried to speak again, she finally turned to face him. "Shut up!" she ordered a little louder. Eli closed his mouth at one. He gave a short nod and she turned her attention back to her husband. "I am going to ask you again Peter. Is Will Gardner alive?" she asked. Miraculously, her voice had returned to the soft steady pace she had used at the beginning.

"Alicia, you must understand…" Peter started but stopped as soon as Alicia raised her hand.

She shook her head slightly. "I asked you a damn question," she said, articulating each words in an exaggerated manner.

"Yes," he finally answered.

Alicia took a sharp breath in. Her fists clenched on each side of her. Nails were digging deep into her skin, she could almost feel the blood gushing out. It was painful, but she welcomed the pain. The pain was keeping her grounded. It was keeping her conscious and present.

"And you've known all…" her voice broke a little. Deep breath in, and deep breath out, "you've known all this time?" she asked. He just nodded. A soft cry slipped out through her parted lips before she could stop it. She dug her nails deeper into her skin. Closing her eyes for the briefest of seconds, she prayed once more for straight. Straight to not grab the big knife lying on the kitchen isle and plunge it right into her husband chest. Right where his heart would've been if he had one.

But no, she thought. That would've been too quick. Too easy. And way too impersonal. By the way she felt, she wanted something more… hands on. She wanted to gouge his eyes out. She wanted to close her fingers around his throat and watch him struggle to breathe. Watch as his skin turned blue and his lips turned purple. Watch the veins in his eyes swollen and pop.

"You must understand that_"

"Cheating on me. Lying to me. Keeping things from me. I thought those had been the worst things you could've done to me," she swallowed with difficulty. "I was wrong."

"Alicia, you gotta understand_"

She interrupted him again. "I got to understand? **I** got to understand?" her voice became louder yet shakier. Emotions getting the best of her. "You watched…" her bottom lip started trembling. She swallowed. "You let me…" she pursed her lips and closed her eyes. Once more, Alicia found herself struggling to stay in control. Stay strong. "What kind of sick bastard…" she placed her hand over her mouth, doing her best to keep from breaking into hysterical sobs. "I was devastated…and you just…you knew."

"I couldn't tell you."

"You couldn't tell me?" she screamed. "You fucking… Get out!" she yelled at him but he made no move. "Get the hell out of my apartment," she repeated. Her voice back to that unusually calm, quiet tone. "Get out and never, never come back," she went on. Peter looked at Eli. Alicia forgot he was even there. "You know, through all you've done, I never hated you. I was mad at you. Angry with you. I was upset and hurt. But I never hated you," she laughed sadly. "I don't think I ever hated anyone really. Until now."

She noticed that at least now Peter had the decency to look ashamed.

"Alicia, I never_"

"I. Don't. Care."

"I just_" he started again, but Alicia stopped him once more. Finally, after so many years and struggles, finally she knew with a hundred per cent certainty exactly what she felt for Peter Florrick. For so long she had had a difficult time distinguishing between the young man she had thought him to be when they met and the man he turned into. She had been young and stupid. In her mind, she had made him out to be this perfect version of himself. A version that didn't exist. Maybe never had existed. Even after the scandal, she made excuses. She found stupid, fake reasons to stay with him. She had lied to herself over and over again. They had after all shared fifteen, mostly happy, years of marriage. What she had failed to acknowledge up until now was that their whole marriage had been a lie. He had lied and cheated. She had left herself behind and instead had become a part of him and his political career. For the first time in over twenty years, Alicia knew exactly how she felt towards the man she married. The man she had dedicated almost half her life to.

"Peter, I want you to leave. You either leave or so help me God I will go out in the hall and scream until my lungs collapse."

Finally he seemed to understand. He picked up his coat from the stool and started walking towards the door. He reached for the handle and stopped, turning around.

"No," Alicia said simply.

As soon as the door closed behind Peter, Alicia collapsed. She would've come in contact with the kitchen floor if not for Eli's reflexes.

***WP***

Alicia opened her eyes slowly. The first thing she noticed was that there was a small, gray stain on the ceiling. She simply looked at it for a while, wondering how it got there.

"Are you ok?" Came Eli's voice. For a moment Alicia was confused. Then she remembered everything. Waking up to the sounds of male voices. Those voices belonging to her husband and his campaign manager. Them talking about Will Gardner. Will. Finding out Will was alive. Confronting Peter about it. Chasing Peter out of her apartment and then…

"How long was I out?" she asked in a gruff, soft voice.

"About five minutes."

Alicia pulled herself in a sitting position. They were in the living room. She was on the couch and Eli was sitting on the coffee table. "Where is he?" she asked.

Fortunately, Eli didn't pretend not to know what she was talking about. "Alicia I can't tell you. You know it will be dangerous for you and for him if anyone found out."

"Eli," Alicia started. She took a deep breath for what seemed like a hundredth time in the past thirty minutes. "We've got to know each other pretty well over the years," she went on. Eli nodded. "Ok, so you know I am not fucking around when I tell you I will find a way to ruin you, unless you answer my questions. Never piss off a lawyer!"

Now, Alicia Florrick had never threatened anyone before. She had no idea if she was doing it right. But she thought she was, because Eli Gold's face turned paler than usual. "So, let's try this again. Where is he?"

"New Jersey. Under the name Paul Carter."

"New Jersey," she repeated.

"He had to be close to New York to testify," he explained.

She nodded. As if she understood. As if any of this made sense to her. An hour ago Will Gardner was dead. Now he was alive, his name was Paul and he lived in New Jersey.

A few minutes had passed in silence. Neither of them spoke. When Eli stood up Alicia jumped. "I am just getting you some water," he said. He went to the fridge, took out the water filter and placed it on the table. Alicia watched in silence as he opened two cupboards before he found the glasses. He filled a glass with water, put the filter back in the fridge and brought the water glass to her.

Alicia took the glass mainly because it gave her something to do. However, after the first sip of water, she realized she was actually thirsty and drank half of it in one breath.

"You are in shock. It's understandable. Whatever you might want to do, I suggest you wait. You can't go see him until it's safe for both of you," Eli said. To his surprise, she started laughing.

"Go see him? I…it's been two years. And before he…well, he hated me," she said and looked at her feet. After two years she still felt ashamed of the way she had hurt Will. She still thought it had been the right decision, given the circumstances. For her to leave. Hadn't worked of course, but she couldn't have known at the time. Had it been a good idea to leave a well-established firm with a bunch of young, idealistic twenty-something year olds to start a new one? Probably not. She had been so stupid. She thought of her and Cary as the new Will and Diane. They were nothing like Will and Diane. Will and Diane had had Stern. They had a veteran to show them the ropes. Also, they had many years of experience at different law firms and in the law firm they eventually became named partners in. Her decision back then had been taken pushed by fear and insecurities. Alas, it was too late to change anything about that.

"He didn't hate you, Alicia. He was hurt."

Another moment of silence. Tears were once again building in her eyes. "Alicia, there's something you need to know. Something I've wanted to tell you for so long," Eli said getting Alicia's attention. She looked at him expectantly. "About six years ago, Will left you a message. He phoned and left a voice message, which I erased." Alicia's eyes opened wide in surprise. Oh, so that was what happened to the voice message she didn't get. Her phone didn't eat it as a plot against her because she was technologically impaired. "You were about to join Peter on stage to announce his candidacy for State's attorney. I was looking out for Peter and the campaign. He wouldn't have won without you. I didn't know you back then. I didn't know what… trust me I wouldn't have taken…if I_"

"What did the message say Eli?" Alicia asked interrupting him.

Eli cleared his voice. "He said: 'you want to know what my plan is? My plan is that I love you'" Alicia gasped. Her bottom lip started to tremble once more. "Then he said something about Georgetown."

"What about Georgetown?" Alicia asked quickly.

"He said he had probably loved you since Georgetown," Eli told her and Alicia let out a soft cry. "He said he would meet you anywhere and anytime and you could make a plan. And then he said that if you didn't want any of that to just ignore his message and you will go back to the way things were."

A single tear escaped her eyes. It felt hot on her cheek as it slid down, leaving a wet trail behind. It stopped on her chin. It stayed there for a few seconds, trembling, as if it couldn't pluck up the courage to jump. Alicia licked her lips and let out a sight. The tear finally fell from her chin and into her lap.

"I want you to go," she said in a whisper.

"Alicia, I_"

"I want to be alone so get out," she urged. He got up from the table and so did she. She swayed for a second before regaining her balance.

"I am sorry Alicia. I took away your chance at happiness once. I won't do it again. As soon as it's safe to go see him, I will let you know. I promise. I will find out and let you know."

"Ok," she said feebly. "Now please leave. I want you to leave," she said again. He nodded and was out of her apartment before she reached the door to her bedroom. She got under the covers, curled up into a fetal position and started to cry. She cried for hours. She cried for all the bad timing that her and Will had ever had. She cried for all the missed opportunities. She cried for all the misunderstandings and missing context. She cried for the twenty-four years old who made the wrong choice. She cried for the twenty years she wasted on a man who most probably never loved her. Sure he had loved the idea of her and what she could do for him. But her? She doubted it very much. She cried for her children who would be sad once she divorced Peter. But mostly she cried for all that time she could've spent with Will and didn't.

***WP***

The next day Alicia made an appointment with the best divorce attorney in Chicago. David Lee. He seemed surprised to see her.

"Mrs. Florrick?" he asked. She flinched at the name.

"Not for long," she said closing the door behind her. She took a seat without waiting for him to invite her to do so. "I don't want candy or chocolate Mr. Lee. I just want a quick and quiet divorce."

The man seemed a little stunned. If Alicia didn't want the process over as soon as possible, she would've taken the time to appreciate having surprised David Lee. But she did. "I want nothing from Peter Florrick and I am certain he wants nothing from me. My children are both of age as of two weeks and three days from now. So I see no reason for this to take too long," she went on. She took out a leather pouch and pulled out several documents. "These are some of the documents I think you might need. Documents you asked me for last time we talked about a potential divorce. Mostly papers on taxes and such," she put a few papers on the desk and turned them towards the man in front of her. "This is the purchases contract for my apartment. It's in my name and I will like to keep it that way," she showed him another document. "This is a copy of the house ownership. Peter put it in both our names when he purchased it from his mother, but I don't want it. If he wants to continue to pay for college for the kids, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. If you need anything else, please email me and I will send it to you or bring it in person if necessary. Whatever you have to do to make this happen as fast as possible, I will appreciate it greatly."

David Lee took a moment to just look at Alicia before raising an eyebrow and asking: "Are you sure Mr. Florrick?"

"Yes."

"Only we've been through this before and you_"

"I changed my mind, I know," she interrupted. "It won't happened this time. I guarantee. This is what I want. I am a hundred per cent sure."

"Very well Mr. Florrick."

If only he would stop calling her that. But it didn't matter. Soon, she would be able to correct people when they called her that. Alicia Florrick would be no more.

***WP***

It took another two months for the divorce to be finalized. Another month later Eli Gold called to let her know it was safe to go visit Will. He had emailed her all the information, including a phone number.

Alicia had been staring at the phone number for the past thirty minutes unable to make up her mind. She had already booked her flight. The polite thing to do would be to call. But she didn't think she could talk to him, hear his voice, without seeing him. A part of her still had trouble believing it was real. Believing Will Gardner was still alive. She had to see it to truly believe it.

So, instead of calling the number on the screen, she looked through her contacts. She found Eli Gold in seconds and lost no time in pressing the 'call' button. He answered after the second ring.

"Alicia what's wrong?" oh yeah, they didn't do social calls. They mostly called one another whenever there was a problem.

Alicia cleared her throat. "Eli…I…I need a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Could you call Will and let him know I will be there tomorrow around noon?" she asked in one breath.

"Uhh, yes. I guess, I could. Are you sure? I mean, I thought you_"

"Thank you Eli. I am sure," she interrupted. She knew what he was going to say. He was going to ask her how come she didn't want to call him. To talk to Will as soon as possible. If she was being honest she didn't quite understand it herself. It could've been fear. Fear that it had all been a dream. That once she would pick up the phone and call, she would have to wake up. That someone who wasn't Will Grader will pick up the phone and tell her she had dialed the wrong number. Tell her he knew no one by that name. Tell her that the person she was looking for was dead and had _been_ dead for the past two years. And that…that she didn't know if she could take. Not now. Not after she was given hope.

Eli confirmed that he was going to call Will that afternoon and let him know of her arrival and hung up. Alicia went straight to her bedroom and started packing. She placed her sexy underwear in her suitcase and took it out of it about ten times. Black and red. Two of Will's favorite colors on her. She knew though that he preferred red. That was the reason why she had avoided the color for the past two years. With a smile, Alicia walked to her closet. She dug her way to the back of the closet and took out three red dresses and two red tops.

Even though her flight wasn't until 8AM, Alicia was at the airport at 4:45AM. She hadn't been able to sleep at all and around 3AM she had decided to start getting ready. She showered and shaved. She cleaned the refrigerator and took out all the garbage. Alicia took a month off work. Either way, she needed the time off. Considering no one would be in the apartment for a month, she had to take any food left out. She also unplugged most of the electronics. Once ready, Alicia decided to just go and wait in the airport instead of her cold, empty apartment.

When she came out of the airport in New Jersey, the sun greeted her. It was warm and pleasant. The room she had chosen had a beautiful view of the water. Alicia went out on the terrace, took in a deep breath and smiled. For the first time in years she was looking forward to her life. For the first time in years, she felt hopeful.

***WP***

The cab got to the destination way sooner than she anticipated. She barely had any time to prepare. For the past month, she did her best to 'prepare' yet now that she was here she was freaking out. Her palms were sweaty and shaking slightly and her heart was beating somewhere in her throat. She handed the driver two twenty dollar bills and got out. He barely waited for her to close the car door before skedding away. Alicia took out a small piece of paper from her handbag and looked at it. The address: 2350 Elmont Road was the only thing written on it. She looked up at the house in front of her. 2350 was engraved on the door in black. The numbers making contrast with the immaculate white color of the door. After looking around in surprise a few more seconds, she pushed the piece of paper back into her bag and started walking towards the door. She only took three steps before the door opened. Her hand flew to her mouth and she let out a high pitched cry. Shock, relief and overwhelming happiness burst in her chest. There he was. William Paul Gardner. He looked exactly like she remembered. Black faded jeans and a light gray t-shirt, leaning against the door frame. As if nothing had changed. As if no time has passed since she last saw him. He smiled softly in the corner of his mouth and started walking towards her. Alicia let her bag drop on the pavement and ran to him. She ran into his arms with such force they had both lost their balance and they dropped to their knees. All Alicia was able to do for the next ten minutes was sob uncontrollably against his chest. Just when she thought she was done and took a deep breath in, she started crying once more. He smelled like fire and the forest and expensive cologne. He smelled like Will. She had thought she will never get to experience that particular scent again.

"Shhh, I am here. I know. I am sorry," he kept murmuring and petting her head. Once she recovered, they both stood. He moved to go get her bag from the ground. Alicia grabbed his arm.

"Sorry, I just don't want you to go away again," she mumbled apologetically. Will smiled. He took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. He picked up the bag and they walked inside. Once the door closed behind him with a loud 'clank' sound, Alicia let go of Will's hand. She started looking around. It felt a little awkward and she didn't really know what to say, where to start. "So, you prefer the suburbs now?" she asked.

Will laughed. "Didn't have much of a choice," he said. A knot formed in Alicia's throat at the sound. She had missed his laugh so much. She had missed him so much. "I missed you," she said out loud.

"I missed you too," he admitted. "How did you…did Peter tell you?"

"No."

Will tilted his head and looked at her. "Alicia you can't blame him. He couldn't tell_"

"The hell he couldn't! He saw how… it doesn't matter now. He didn't tell me."

"It's the rules," Will offered.

Alicia laughed. "Yes, because Peter always follows the rules," she said sarcastically.

He shrugged. "How is Peter anyway?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Fighting again?" he asked.

Alicia licked her lips. "No… Peter and I got a divorce."

Will's eyes opened wide. "You're…you…you're divorced?"

She smiled. "Yes. Have been for over a month now. They should start making it public soon I expect. I am surprised Eli managed to keep them at bay for so long."

"I…Alicia I am sorry. What happened? I thought you guys were on track to saving your marriage, renewing your vows and all."

"Yeah, well…" she looked away from his intense gaze. "Your death…I didn't take it very well," she said in a small voice. "Peter didn't like the way I was," she made a small sound with a lips. Like a little smack. "…dealing with it," she continued. "So, we decided to stop. We stayed married because it was beneficial for both our careers. But when I found out about you… I guess that had been the drop that tipped the glass," she finished and he nodded simply.

They talked about her decision, her children and her career. Then they talked about him. The trial, the fake death and the whole process. They talked for hours about everything imaginable. Once they exhausted every subject, a deep silence fell upon them.

"Do you still hate me for leaving Lockhart/Gardner?" Will smiled. "Look, if it makes you feel any better it sucked for a long time. Starting a firm with a bunch of kids…not the best idea I've ever had." He chuckled and so did she. "But I was scared. I thought I had no choice. I thought I was falling in love with you. I was wrong."

Another moment of silence. Alicia wished she could read Will's mind. She did her best to read his emotions, but he seemed to feel several. Some in contradiction. Happiness, sadness…a sort of longing she had seen before, yet it was different somehow.

"Will," she started shyly. "I know it's been two years. I know it's… I want you to know I don't expect anything. I just want to tell you. I had been wrong when I left because I thought I was falling in love with you because…well, because I already had. I was already very much in love with you by the time I left. I didn't want to admit it. I did everything I could to ignore how I felt. And it had worked for a while. I got distracted by the firm, by your hatred for me_"

"Alicia I never hated you. I was…fuck, I was hurt. I felt betrayed by the one person I had trusted above all others."

At his words her eyes watered. Unable to stop them, tears started pouring from her eyes. Will shivered at the sight. Alicia knew Will Gardner had a problem with crying girls. He had had this problem in college too and told Alicia about it. He told her it made him feel inadequate, because he never knew what to do. "I am sorry," she murmured. She didn't know what exactly she was apologizing for. Didn't know for sure if it was for crying or for hurting him years ago.

Will stood up from his stool. He made his way to her and cupped her face with both hands. Gently, he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "Alicia," he whispered. She closed her eyes, simply enjoying the pleasure of hearing him say her name. "I have had plenty of time to think about it. I am over it, I promise," he said and she sobbed louder, confusing him.

"Will I… I have to say it. And you just have to hear it," she looked up, straight into his eyes. "I love you Will," she said. "You don't have to say anything. I mean, it's been two years and_"

"You're stupid," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"You are the most brilliant stupid person I have ever met," she watched him confused. "Do I really have to say it?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Will, what are you babbling about? Say what?"

"That I love you," he said and her eyes opened wide. "Christ Alicia, I have loved you from the moment I met you. You smiled at me and twirled your hair around your finger and I was gone. There has never been anyone else for me," he went on. Alicia's smile became wider and wider until her jaw started to hurt.

"Can we just start over?" she asked.

Will let go of her and took a step back. "Hi, aren't you going to swim?" he asked.

Alicia laughed. She realized what he was doing right away. He was referring back to that night they first met. So many moons ago. "Swimming isn't really my thing."

"Then what is your thing…" he paused, waiting for her to say her name.

"Alicia Cavanaugh," she stretched her hand. Will grabbed her hand and gave it a firm squeeze.

"Will Gardner," he said but didn't let go of her hand. "You didn't answer my question."

"I like wine and Hemingway," Alicia answered with a smile.

"Nice. Alcohol and suicidal novelists. You must be a joy to be around."

Alicia laughed, just as she had twenty-something years ago. "I am, thank you."

"Mind if I stick around to find out?"

"Not at all."


End file.
